How far would you go?

[Spydeyrch]

Perhaps I should have labeled this thread as:

Would you be willing?

or maybe

Who's comes first?

And perhaps this thread should be in the "non-fishing related" section. But then again it does have to deal slightly with fishing, so I will let the mods make that decision.

This thread came about because I was talking to some friends about their hobbies and the topic came up that some of them have had issues with their significant other due to their hobbies.

At one point one of them was on the verge of losing their spouse due to a pending divorce.

And I got to thinking, would I put fishing, or any hobby for that matter, before my spouse/family?

Up to what point would I say fishing comes first, or the wife/kids come first?

Would I even let it get as far as to have divorce mentioned in conversation due to my fishing "hobbie"? (it really is an addiction but I don't like to admit it :lol: )

I hope that it would never get to that point. So I decided that if I had to chose between my wife and my hobbies, she/they would win every time. Fish come and go. But my wife is my wife and my kids are mine and they are more important to me than any fish I will ever catch.

What about you all?

To what point would you let fishing interfere with your relationship with your significant other? Perhaps interfere isn't the best word. Because the majority of time it isn't interfering. But a lot of time, for a lot of us, it does take a priority over other things.

What do you think? Would you be willing to lose an important person just for fishing?

I have known of people that have put fishing away for years, maybe even decades, because their family needed them. They were able to pick it up again later. But think of all the things they would have missed with their family had they continued to fish instead of focusing on their family?

What are your thoughts and opinions? I am curious to see what others thing. And if you have any personal experiences that you feel comfortable sharing, I would love to hear (read) about them.

Take care all.

-Spydey

 

[lilsalmon]

Spydey...you think too much. Fishing is a hobbie and a sickness....a good sickness, at least for me....I think your question is pretty serious. Hobbie or family? I am single so I don't have to worry about when I can and can't fish (my son knows how important it is to me)...but at the end of the day when you come home............

 

[flipper]

What do you think? Would you be willing to lose an important person just for fishing?

Absolutely not. In my humble opinion, in the end it's not how many fish you've caught, but rather how people remember you as a person. Selfless? Loving? A good father/husband?

I would label myself an avid fisher for over 15 years, but for the first time this year have delved into salmon fishing. I've basically spent 6 consecutive weekends fishing for those little buggers and am starting to feel guilty with the neglected duties that come with spending so much time fishing.

My wife is very supportive of my targeting salmon this year, as she loves the eggs that come with the fish meat (she eats the eggs raw!). I kind of consider myself a lucky husband as she completely fine with being alone (she prefers it, heh). But still, duties at some point need to become priority over fishing.

We've joked before about other couples who struggle with letting their man go fishing...because when you honestly count the number of days you fish per year by 365 days...usually we're talking less than 5% of the year you're out fishing. Numbers like that kind of put into perspective really how uncommon a husband tries to go out fishing per year.

I'd say I average 25 days a year fishing. So I tell my wife, hey... I only fish 6.85% of the year. That's not too bad once I throw her numbers like that out

Tight marriage and tight lines, my friends.

 

[Spydeyrch]

Yes I do think too much sometimes. :lol: But I enjoy it. It has led me on some exciting adventures and some not so exciting ones.

Perhaps I am thinking into it too much. :think: But then again, I find it interesting how people react to the same general situation.

For some it is an easy decision, such as you lilsalmon. For others it may not be so easy.

I find it helpful for me to see how others reacted to a certain situation if I ever come across that same situation or something similar.

But yes, I do think a lot. And sometimes it bothers my wife profusely!!! Hahahahahaha :lol: I think I got it from my dad. He does the same thing. Sometimes we will sit down and just have a thinking contest!! hahahaha

But that is one of the reasons why I love fishing, I don't have to think too much about it. I can just relax and let go for a while. It is so refreshing.

Thanks for your input rose. I appreciate it.

-Spydey

 

[Spydeyrch]

Absolutely not. In my humble opinion, in the end it's not how many fish you've caught, but rather how people remember you as a person. Selfless? Loving? A good father/husband?

I would label myself an avid fisher for over 15 years, but for the first time this year have delved into salmon fishing. I've basically spent 6 consecutive weekends fishing for those little buggers and am starting to feel guilty with the neglected duties that come with spending so much time fishing.

My wife is very supportive of my targeting salmon this year, as she loves the eggs that come with the fish meat (she eats the eggs raw!). I kind of consider myself a lucky husband as she completely fine with being alone (she prefers it, heh). But still, duties at some point need to become priority over fishing.

We've joked before about other couples who struggle with letting their man go fishing...because when you honestly count the number of days you fish per year by 365 days...usually we're talking less than 5% of the year you're out fishing. Numbers like that kind of put into perspective really how uncommon a husband tries to go out fishing per year.

I'd say I average 25 days a year fishing. So I tell my wife, hey... I only fish 6.85% of the year. That's not too bad once I throw her numbers like that out

Tight marriage and tight lines, my friends.

Nice man! Very nice insight there. Yes, I would agree with you on many of your points. I had never really thought about the numbers when compared to the year as a whole. I will have to bring that one up with my wife. hehehehe. :lol:

My wife is very supportive of my fishing addiction. She gets frustrated sometimes when I spend a little too much. We have come to an agreement for the time being that I can either go for 3 half days in a month, 2 full days in a month, or 1 camping trip in a month. I think it is reasonable because we have a 6 month old, 3 year old, and a 5 year old. Our 5 year old just started kindergarten this year.

I totally agree with the duties and responsiblities aspect of what you stated man. If I go fishing too much, I feel like I am not being the father that my kids need. I would love to take them with me but some of the ares that I take them too are not kid friendly and I like to move quickly and a lot when I am fishing.

Thanks flipper for your wise input.

-Spydey

P.S. Oh and just to be clear about something. I am not facing any current or pending issues with my wife/family right now due to fishing or any other hobbies of mine. I was just curious, like I stated in my first post.

 

[alseaalumaweld]

fishing and hunting come frist. everthing else is after that

 

[flipper]

I wouldn't say they're wise words..I'm only 29 years old just like you.

 

[Mad dog]

fishing and hunting come frist. everthing else is after that

Yep!!! :clap:

My advise would be; Find a woman that can shoot!!!:lol:

If my interests were all outdoor related I for sure couldn't be married to a woman that didn't get it! It helps to have common interests in a relationship....I hunt and fish! That is what I am, that is what I do!

I know a guy that when he goes elk hunting, has a whole clan of women packing elk out of the woods when they are successful....that's a good woman! :lol:

To answer your question Spydey....of course my family comes first!

 

[alseaalumaweld]

Yep!!! :clap:

My advise would be; Find a woman that can shoot!!!:lol:

If my interests were all outdoor related I for sure couldn't be married to a woman that didn't get it! It helps to have common interests in a relationship....I hunt and fish! That is what I am, that is what I do!

I know a guy that when he goes elk hunting, has a whole clan of women packing elk out of the woods when they are successful....that's a good woman! :lol:

To answer your question Spydey....of course my family comes first!

i need a pack women ha

 

[alseaalumaweld]

guess im young and think differnt then some. but theres allways gona be jobs and gfs. hunting and fishing is only a limted time season got put it frist

 

[RunWithSasquatch]

Fishing, hunting, rafting, outdoors. Thats what I work and live for. I am married, and do the previously stated, 3, 4, and 5 days a week. Sometimes more. If I didn't have a compatable wife for the things I love to do, then I wouldnt be married. No questions. Your spouse needs to like you for who you are, no strings attatched. And if you love fishing, then thats who you are...


Luckely, my wife enjoys the out doors more than me, and has done some amazing rafting trips, while I stayed home, worked, and payed the bills.

Multiple trips on the Middle Fork Salmon, Selway rivers in Idaho, countless times down the Rogue, and an 18 day trip down the Colorado in the Grand Canyon, including 2 days there, 4 days in Vegas when they got off, and 2 days home... All while I stayed home.

 

[alseaalumaweld]

im takeing gf applications. must own a sled

 

[Spydeyrch]

Wow! :shock: There are ton of varying opinions here. I like that. Interesting how some have come to one conclusion and others to another.

I would agree with a lot of you that having a spouse that enjoys the same things as you is important. I love the outdoors. I have been hiking, camping, fishing, rock climbing, alpine climbing, rafting, etc for years and years. I was an outdoors instructor for 3 years during high school. coolest high school job a kid could have!! I got to teach hiking, camping, survival skills, outdoor cooking, proper pack packing, climbing, etc. Loved it!! But I didn't make enough to support a family so I moved on.

My wife doesn't have a passion for the outdoors like I do. But that is fine. It is my thing. We have our couple's thing that we do together and we love doing it together, and no, I am not talking about "that". :naughty: Get your mind out of the gutter! :lol: But the outdoors is my thing. There are times when I wish she would take an interest in it but she is she and I love her for her, that is why I love her and started a family with her.

But if it came down to it, I would give up the outdoors if it came between my family and the outdoors. Luckily, even though she doesn't do the "outdoors thing", she supports me on it. It is part of me and without it, I wouldn't be me. And she loves me for me, thus she loves my outdoors part too. So I feel pretty lucky.

RWS, that is hilarious!! You let her do it too much, hahahahahaha :lol:

Thanks everyone for your input. I always find it interesting what others think. I feel like it helps to make me a better person. It helps me relate to others and understand them more. :think:

-Spydey

 

[Spydeyrch]

im takeing gf applications. must own a sled

Hahahaha, that cracks me up dude!!! :lol:

I can just see it now, an ad in the paper:

Looking for GF. Must be able to identfy correctly 4 different speices of NW fish, 3 different deer speices, and know the correct elk season dates without the need of reading the regs.

Also must be able to cast a min. of 60 feet into the wind, on a sub-zero day. Oh, and has to like to stand in freezing cold water with some floating thing running down the river, all while holding onto a hope and a dream of maybe getting a fish.

Epic dude!! Nice. :lol:

-Spydey

 

[alseaalumaweld]

i like what your thinking! all good ideas

 

[alseaalumaweld]

must qualify trew long range shooting. casting contest. and boat trailer backing up constest

 

[RunWithSasquatch]

I didn't get to go down the Colorado, just the wife. We have another permit coming up this up coming spring, and yet again, it looks like I will miss out on the trip, and she will get to go with our friends. We have a great group of people we boat with.

I was supposed to be on the trip, but its such a time commitment, I am currently layed off, and when I pick up a new job, there will be no way I can request 3 weeks off with less than a year tenure.

 

[GDBrown]

Fishing or Family?

Fishing or Family?

Spydey, you always seem to come up with the hot topic at the right time. :lol: I married a woman who was the daughter of a beef rancher but lived in town and doesn't even know how to ride a horse! I didn't ever consider what her interests were when I got married because I loved her not what she did. She has learned to accept me for who I am and I accept her for who she is. We (together) have a very different perspective on life than most people because unlike most marriages there was no "until death do you part" clause in the ceremony. Our marriage is "For time and all eternity". Family is everything to us and we live for that and always will. Now that our kids are grown and gone we vacation to see them and I get to fish along the way. I could not have a more supportive wife if God created one just for me (He did!) because we both want each other to be happy. How many of you hear your wife say, "I think you should go fishing tomorrow"? I get that all the time now, even though I only go once a week or less. Yes, she has had 39 years to get use to my addiction but has learned that I come home a better husband and father when I spend time on the water fishing.

As for putting fishing before spouse or kids. It only happened when I was young and stupid! I have spent years where I never even considered fishing and thought the best thing in life was seeing my daughter play T-ball and it was!

A little advise to a long and happy marriage...... She is always RIGHT, Never go to sleep angry at each other and most importantly..... Divorce is not an option!

GD

 

[alseaalumaweld]

o sure you can just say that on interview. you need ever friday off paid. and all of oct off and 3 weeks for a raft trip

 

[Spydeyrch]

must qualify trew long range shooting. casting contest. and boat trailer backing up constest

Shucks!! I forgot those invaluable parts!! Thanks for correcting me. :lol:

-Spydey